You are married now. Let’s see how to make married life beautiful. Someone once asked me 20 questions about how to make married life beautiful. Here are the answers to those questions. Hopefully, all the necessary issues of married life have been discussed in it.
- What are the characteristics of a beautiful married life?
Truth-telling, caring, mutual respect-these three qualities I consider to be the key to a happy married life. Notice, I didn’t use the word ‘love’ here. Because, love is basically created from these three things. In the conventional sense, what is called love is merely physical desire. Just someone’s physical beauty can never be the inspiration for love. It may create momentary fascination and desire, but it is not true love. The love that develops through living together and getting acquainted for a long time is the love that lasts. To build such love requires honesty, care and awareness towards each other. What is needed is a spirit of self-respect and mutual respect.
Love can never be born without respect. You need to respect your spouse, evaluate his or her qualities, and be proud to have him or her as your life partner. It lights a lamp of love in the heart that becomes brighter over time. Because the reasons for respect also increase with time. And physical attraction decreases with age. This is how people are made. No one is more beautiful with age; As people get older, they become wiser; Is more gentle, calm, and patient; Is more deserving of respect. Because of all this, the love that ‘develops’ grows over time.
The truth is to express as sincerely as you feel. And caring means caring for others. Because you know there is no barrier between you and him. Respect is about believing in you and keeping your partner’s special place in the jewel of his or her heart intact. This belief should not be disrespected for any reason.
- Is there any way to be happy in married life?
Marry someone you want to imitate; Who can be respected and from whom forgiveness can be learned. The key to an unhappy married life is to marry someone you think you can change. If you have such an idea, marital life will be ruined. Someone needs to change, which means he is not as good as he needs to be. Moreover, in most cases you may not even know if he wants to change according to your choice. You will be shocked to hear his own thoughts about changing yourself next time.
The second part of the formula is to be forgiving. We have to look at each other’s mistakes with a forgiving look. Whatever happens in marital life, we want all our mistakes to be seen in a forgiving creation. We expect a lot of high quality behavior from our spouse, but we can’t behave like that ourselves. We do not want to move away from such irrational thinking for some unknown reason. Real life is not like that. Remember, what you are expecting from others, you are doing it yourself before?
Share everything in your life. Show interest in what he likes to do. Do not interfere in everything; Instead, try to make his work more beautiful.
Conversation is one of the most important elements of a happy marriage. At the same time it is a measure of the sweetness of married life. The marital relationship begins to break down with the loss of the conversation. When after 10 minutes of talking the two of them have nothing more to say; Instead of spending time together sitting in front of the TV, or reading a magazine, you can assume that your marriage has contracted a disease.
There is a longing to be close to each other about a happy marriage. Not just formality or duty; That’s why you’ll want to get back home quickly from the outside that your wife is waiting for you. When you get home, don’t go out to hang out with friends again. Don’t just give each other time to avoid accusations; Rather you truly love being close to him, getting close to him.
- How to make a marriage successful?
In a word, the answer is ‘work’. We say, ‘Make married life successful’, but we forget that a lot of it is actually ‘working’. It requires initiative, time and energy. It is not an airy thing; How much you actually did can be measured and what you got in return can also be evaluated. For example, making breakfast is a chore for your wife, as well as wanting and helping her with chores. It is also a job to be a little neat and tidy when the husband returns home; A very valuable job. Going a little further and saying goodbye when going somewhere; If you come from somewhere, greeting a little ahead or even if you don’t like it, doing something just by thinking about ‘her’ is ‘work’. If you can really do these things, it will bring you a lot of love and respect in return.
Don’t complain if your spouse doesn’t give you time. Because, first of all, the act of complaining in this case is sad and humiliating. Second, I have a rule of thumb: If someone doesn’t do something out of love, don’t ask someone to do something just to do their duty. Third, it is a warning to you that he is looking for someone else; So test yourself and act accordingly. Find out why this is happening. Correct yourself. Everything will be fine. People are always looking for things to enjoy. So, if your companionship is more painful than pleasure, then naturally he will want to find it somewhere else.
I often say, ‘Better to buy a horse than to marry a quarrelsome Kai; The horse could at least turn around in different places. ‘Quarrelsome’ is a bisexual word; Applies to both men and women.
As I have said before, it is clear from the conversation between husband and wife how their marital relationship is going. What to do, what not to do – to give instructions, to complain, to give information, to gossip but do not fall into this conversation. This conversation means – sharing thoughts, hopes, dreams, etc .; Listening to each other’s words, showing empathy, trying to understand each other, sharing laughter. Spending some time together in silence is also a sign of a beautiful married life. That’s not always the case. Companionship can be given by speaking, but also by silence; Quality is the key to companionship. Even if no one tells you to explain things, you can understand for yourself. But keep in mind, whether there is any anxiety or fatigue in the silence. The key is to listen and know each other with sincerity and respect.
Do Some Madness to Express Affection:
Give your spouse a gift of flowers or something you like. But it’s not just about birthdays or wedding anniversaries. In this age of information technology, these day-to-day things don’t have to be taken care of by anyone anymore, the instruments remind us. Instead, give gifts whenever possible. Not always that big gift to give; Rather, the idea of giving a gift is the key. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Give gifts, because it will increase love for one another. So give each other gifts.
Gifts work great when you’re away from home for a few days, or are emotionally distant due to a few days at work. Gifts cover beautiful married life for about eighteen years. And yes, give the gift to your partner in private. Wrap the gift in wrapping paper, tie it with colored ribbons, apply perfume and hand it with a bunch of flowers. Make the event memorable, unique and creative. Remember, the object of the gift is not the main thing here, the key here is to give a memorable moment. The gift does not have to be something like a bag – it will come out in front of everyone. Rather, it will be something that only he will get. Don’t go for less that your full potential. Rather give him something at a time he did not expect then. The gift is your partner’s specialty and will say, ‘You are my special one’. The same thing applies with boys. Remember, boys also like gifts; Even more so than girls in many cases. Give them gifts with a generous heart.
There is a saying – couples who can enjoy happiness together can stay together for a long time. Sports, recreation, sightseeing, vacations, picnics – do whatever you think is fun within the bounds of legitimacy. Do something that both of you can enjoy together. If there is a competitive game then you try to lose, let the partner win. Remember, losing here is a joy for you. You may not always enjoy the subject equally, but in return the smile you can put on your spouse’s face is much bigger. This laughter is all, isn’t it? So, let the smile be the real smile. Fake smiles can be understood from a mile away. Achieving achievement is not always the key; Not at all in the world. Your ‘job evaluation’ here depends on the satisfaction of both of you. We have to work together, we have to achieve success together. Otherwise, it will be as if the operation was successful but the patient died. In today’s busy life, we don’t really have time to do anything. We keep looking for ‘results’ in everything. It is extremely harmful in marital life. It gives a lot of pain mentally. Marriage is for the acquisition of all the invaluable resources such as ‘sukun’, happiness, peace of mind, tranquility, etc. – not for any material ‘result’. Achieving this goal can be made easier by giving each other time.
Source: The book “Marriage: Dream to Eighth” published by Sian Publications (this excerpt from the book is published with the permission of Sian Publications)